I suppose in one sense we would've naturally learnt manhood from our fathers, grandfathers, the men who came before us, the men of our country, our learning of our culture, history and religion.
I can't say I grew up appreciating any of those things.
I came from a smaller family, a father who was strong and taught me solid life lessons but fell silent. I know some guys don't even have fathers.
Instead I had the mainstream media influencing me, the education system shaping me, the celebrities, pornography, the baseless culture of consumerism and now we have various forms of ideologies confusing us all about gender.
Of course, I'm not the only one. But breaking out of this conditioning is vital for me. All the men of my family are ex-military or war veterans. I'm the first generation of these men to not be involved in a war. It's meant a lot of pain for my family and a lot of healing.
What I've learned in particular is resilience and to be the best possible version of yourself. A man must always be growing, mentally, physically, spiritually attuning himself towards the divine power that made him.
What's helped me learn resilience was physical fitness. Whatever you do to your body will translate to the mind. You train your mind to push past whats uncomfortable, you push it into new territory, the unknown, you push past pain and never give up. This can build mental fortitude in the face of struggle. Building strength is also important to me, everyone needs a strongman.
Then grounding yourself, breathing into your balls. Breathing, a man must be still if he is to hear the direction of his good Lord. Learn to breathe deeply. This helps to create a delay when we react to a stimulus. It slows down the process of when something triggers us emotionally and the subsequent act. This gives us a chance to understand our emotional responses and bring Jesus into the healing process.
A lot of our addictions, porn, drugs etc are because we are trying to escape our emotional lives. We need to understand our emotional lives thus we grow in self knowledge.
I also didn't mention financial stability, laying out your finances and planning them. When it comes to work, you do your best. You do one thing and you stick at it. Lay out how much money you need to earn a month to make ends meet. From that place of stability you can be a strong man on a mission.
Man's gotta know his mission. Comes from the Lord. Prayer life is a given. These are things I'm working on at the moment. Oh yeah and a man's gotta read, straight from my old man. Reading expands the mind, history, religion, philosophy. They teach us about the men who came before us.
Love and God bless.